You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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