what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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