Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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