What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops