What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops