Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops