Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Vagina Boob

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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