"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops