knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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