roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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96

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops