How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Ross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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