Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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How do you make a pool table laugh? You cant it is'nt a living thing which means emotions.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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