Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops