why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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You idiot.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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