what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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