Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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GOODBYE

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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