My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I agree to the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did you step on my watermelon?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops