What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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