What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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