why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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knock knock Goodbye

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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