What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Charlie Sheen

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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