What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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whats better than the london bridge burning down... all the jews burning down and getting put in bins .

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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