Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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