Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops