what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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