How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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