What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

ever tried african food? they neither

Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

How do you scare a black man? You dont

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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