Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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