What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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