Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops