So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops