i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

a person who will soon die of beeties

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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