- Anti Joke

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

I have cancer. And you're next.

What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

why did your mum die young because she had canser

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops