What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Yo momma so fat she weighs 400 pounds.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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womans rights...

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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