How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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