Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

Golf.

Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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