How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

All of these jokes are about white people

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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