What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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