How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Yes

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops