What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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your no better than a cockroach

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops