“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A paraplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops