roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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