Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

so today i took a poop. hehe

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

An anti-joke

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

what happened to your carpool? they died.

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...