This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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