What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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