Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Yellow People !!

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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You idiot.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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