Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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