Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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