There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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