Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops