What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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You and your parents are going to die today

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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