Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Pickle

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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