Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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You know what's funny? Rape

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Weaner

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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