Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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