if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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