Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Donald Trump

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops