What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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I'm homeless.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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Grace Ackerson

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Pain Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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