My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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