What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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