Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guess what? I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

you will like this because i am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops