Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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read this sentence again.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Click here for free sandwich.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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