Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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