I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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The Labour Party.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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What does God say when a balck person is person is borned? "Another burnt one"

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops