A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops