A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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